Pick Me!

7 Mar

Pick Me!

In a world so very full of options and choices and let’s face it, noise, we are all screaming out pick me! I know that has been my cry for too many consecutive days and it is exhausting… and pointless. The truth is I have already been chosen… I’m already on the team… I’m already valid… I’m already loved in such a ridiculous fashion that it literally brings tears to my eyes when I think about it. So why the incessant push to yell it out with my words… my actions… my thoughts? Why let this lie ache in my heart at all?

I know the answer. I just don’t like it. A loss in perspective is always difficult to admit, and even more difficult to adjust most of the time.

For so much of my recent history I have been able to be intimately detached from this race for “significance” down here in the world. I had simply let go. It was good. It was healthy. It was peaceful. It was healing. I was rooted and grounded in Love… just like Paul prayed for his beloved Ephesians… and then I began to reattach myself to things down here. Slowly, over the course of many months and many crazy circumstances, I began pulling up my roots. At first letting them dangle over the landscape, and as they dangled there they continued to grow and attach themselves to other things… good things… like Caleb… like ministry… like security… like stability.  To all of my friends and family it appeared that this reattachment was a good thing… the right thing… the normal thing. And, I have to admit, in so many ways it felt good to me too. My roots were watered with encouragement… activity… building… acquiring…. and softly, the “pick me!” voice started creeping in quieter than a whisper.

It is completely natural, normal, almost required for that voice to start when we are doing things, building things, seeking things. There is a satisfaction that comes from recognition. There is an inherent desire for acknowledgement like the mortar between the bricks of those things we are building. This recognition feeds what we are doing… propels it… makes it hungry for more like a drug we become dependent upon without being intentional about it.

Soon, “Pick Me!” is the only voice we here, and when it isn’t fed, it turns on us. It tells us that we aren’t enough. That inward creeping feeling becomes a beacon to invite others to reinforce that feeling of inadequacy. Those roots that were thriving in good things start to constrict. The cycle of trying really hard to compensate for our obvious inadequacy becomes consuming and drowns out the truth and for every harder and harder try we feel more and more inadequate for the tasks at hand. We start cutting back, giving up, or chopping down the beautiful flower that we are created to be.

And in that place is where I find myself right now. And this is what I hear… “For this reason I bow my knees to Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the WHOLE family of heaven AND earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory to be strengthened with might through HIS Spirit in YOUR inner man, that Christ may DWELL in your heart through faith; that YOU, being ROOTED AND GROUNDED IN LOVE, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the WIDTH and LENGTH and DEPTH and HEIGHT — to KNOW the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with ALL the FULLNESS of God.**”

**Ephesians 3:14-19

And my roots are moving home to Love. Because from Love I can be more for Caleb… for ministry… for more than I could ask or imagine, and in Love there is no need to cry out “Pick Me!”

Be FABU-lous!

———————————————————————————————————

Jenn HillJenn Hill is the Director of Campus Ministries at The Peoples Church of East Lansing. While she is new to Campus Ministry, she has served in ministry roles for the better part of a decade now. As a speaker, writer, teacher, and worship leader, she has shared a consistent message of the overpowering and unending love of God through Jesus.  Jenn is a new mom with an incredible little boy named Caleb who is teaching her more about that overpowering and unending love than anything else has ever taught her before. Please feel free to contact her at any time at jhill@thepeopleschurch.com

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2 Responses to “Pick Me!”

  1. Linda March 7, 2013 at 8:46 am #

    This is wonderful. I really needed this reminder today.

  2. Paul Walley March 7, 2013 at 10:12 am #

    Jill ~ I know what you are saying but, for me, I’m on the other side of the fence.
    I go to a lot of swing dances (that’s my social passion). Often there are more
    women than men. I notice so many women waiting, smiling, as if saying “Pick me!”
    around the walls of the dance hall. Fortunately, more women are taking the initiative and
    asking men to dance. But it is still largely “men’s choice.” While this might seem
    great for us, there is a downside too. Maybe the woman will say “no thanks” and
    the male (me) is rejected. Most of the time they say “yes” and the dancing goes on.
    To take this to a more spiritual level, our God always says “yes” and has already
    “picked” or chosen me in Christ. No more anxious waiting! I try to remember this
    on the dance floor and always say yes when asked to dance. Thanks, Jill, for sharing!

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